Chapter 226 Her Warm Embrace
She hugged him tightly, fighting back the tears. She pulled away, momentarily, and her own son tried to push her away. He continued to shake his head and repeat 'nightmare' over and over.
"You really went through a lot." She started to cry. She wiped Lee Seng's tears away and kept her smile. "It's okay. You can cry, Seng. You can cry." She wrapped her arms around him. He didn't want to cry, yet he exploded into sobs.
"Why did this happen to me? I want to be normal. I want to go to a normal school. I want to work hard and, and, and…" Lee Seng sobbed. "I just want normal parents who are proud of me. A son who doesn't have to make relationships with people who aren't really my family and, and, and not find l-love in them. I want to be normal, Mom! I want to be normal!"
The tendrils released from him and everything faded. The tree, the view, even Keng. It was just Lee Seng and his Mom. She held her son close as he continued to cry. She held her son up. She didn't want him to fall onto his head. He was her little baby. She could see her little child in her arms, but reminded herself her son was almost an adult. He had grown a lot more since she had passed. She kneeled beside him and continued to pat his back. He didn't try to fight and push her away. He simply cried.
The rhythmic patting and his Mom's embrace made Lee Seng's anger melt. His despair, his want for revenge, everything disappeared. He didn't remember the last time he sobbed like this. His Mom continued to embrace him. He worried while he was crying if her shirt was soaking wet, but something told him she wasn't really there, physically, but there like she was in his dreams.
"Seng," his Mom said in Hmong. She wanted to pull him away, but he bear hugged her and didn't let go of her, so she decided to quietly speak into his ear. "I know things aren't going well for you right now. I've been watching you. I've been in your heart and above watching. I know things haven't gone as you expected after I passed, but I want you to know that I will always be proud of you, dear. I know you and your Father don't have the best relationship, but one day you'll come to love him and fight for that love.
"One day you'll be able to show him that you have always loved him and you will continue to do so because that's just who you are. Seng, life has thrown some hard times onto you. Just know, it will pass. You will continue forward. I believe you will. I believe you will get everything you've ever wanted down the road. You will become an adventurer and see the Old World. You'll see Mom and Dad's world. You'll see how much we've changed as a people. I root for you. I've seen the friends you've made. I've seen that little Fox pushing you forward." Mom chuckled. Lee Seng pulled away and wiped his tears and snot away. He didn't like it when he cried. He felt 'ugliest' when he cried. She smiled at him and wiped his tears away.
"Mom…" Lee Seng sniffled. "Do you really… Do you really think I'll b-b-be able to d-d-do it?"
"I think so." She answered in English. "I think my son is capable of anything if he sets his mind to it. You fought to go to a regular school because you wanted friends your age right? You wanted other friends than Sara and Manny." Lee Seng nodded. His mind flashed to the current condition of his relationship with them. He wasn't talking to Sara. He, frankly, didn't want to see her nor talk to her, but Manny was a different story. He was always there even if he didn't say much. He was just there.
"About that…" Lee Seng's voice trailed off.
"I know, dear." She pinched her son's cheeks. He retaliated by trying to slap her away and she began to laugh at him. "You're so cute when you try to deflect my love pinches."
"Mom, stop!" Lee Seng pleaded. "It hurts." Mom folded her hands and set them in her lap. She straightened herself and looked at Lee Seng.
"Honey, you're going to wake up thinking this was some sort of dream, but know it's real. I worry about you even in the afterlife. I keep my eyes on you and your Father because I know you two are SOOOOOOOO much alike. You may not agree with me on that nor your father for that matter, but I love you two so much." Mom began to slowly swing her body forwards and backwards. It was the small thing Lee Seng had picked up, too. She cleared her throat and looked into her son's ruby and sapphire eyes. "Lee Seng, the Protocol may have been put into you by your Father, but it doesn't mean that's the thing that'll be used against you. You've been given a second chance by that God King. You've made a real friend right in here, too." She tapped his heart.
"So I want you to continue to fight for you. That's what I want. I want you to be happy at the end of the day. I want you to achieve your dreams, find someone you love and have kids. I want you to be secure. That's what I want as your Mother, okay?" She raised her eyebrows for an answer.
"Mmm." Lee Seng.
"I didn't hear your answer!" She pinched his cheeks.
"I said yes, Mom! Ouch!" Lee Seng pulled her hands away as she began to barrage him with pinches. Lee Seng tumbled onto his back as his Mom began to tickle him. He erupted in laughter. Her smile grew and she eventually stopped. Lee Seng looked up at her from his spot as she stared off in the distance.
"Remember what I said, 'kay?" She looked down at her son. Lee Seng nodded. "Remember, things may have changed, but it's what you make of it. Continue to climb high. I'll always be watching. One day, you'll understand everything I've said and say, 'You were right.'"
"Will I?" Lee Seng chuckled. He turned and rested his head on his Mom's legs. "Why can't it just be like this forever?"
"It can't, Seng." Mom ran her fingers through her son's growing hair. "You must face reality and you must face the many ugly truths. Push yourself forward, achieve your dreams, learn about what you are now and find people who will stand by you no matter what. You can do this."
"What if I can't? What if I just… lash out like I did earlier?"
"You will never learn anything if you constantly keep winning. Growth comes from learning from the wins and losses in life. The happiness and the sadness. The calm and the storm. If we all constantly won and were happy, would we ever see the whole picture? That's why you must overcome the Protocol. Control it and use it because it's one of the many things at your disposal."
Lee Seng nodded. Mom was right about it. He sat up, turning to face his Mom.
"I will become someone you'll boast to everyone else in Heaven." Lee Seng smiled. "I'll make you proud. I will make myself proud."
"Promise?" Mom stuck her pinky out.
"Mmm, promise." Lee Seng wrapped his pinky with her and the both of them raised their thumbs and touched each other.
"With a kiss." Mom chuckled.
"With a kiss." Lee Seng nodded. Mom released her pinky and stared at her son. She ruffled his hair and then hugged him.
"It's time for me to go. Do well. I'll be watching." Mom squeezed him. Lee Seng felt his chest swirling with sadness. His throat jerked as he squeezed her back. "I'll always love you no matter what choices you make, okay? Control yourself."
Her warmth faded and everything came back. Lee Seng felt the despair and anger coursing through his body as Keng scratched at the tendrils holding him to the tree. He pushed himself through his anger and despair.
'I need to be better. I need to calm myself. He isn't there. Halys is testing us.' Lee Seng reminded himself. He felt his Spiritual body pull back to the surface of his physical body. He listened to the blood and Dark Matter splattering below him. His eyes flashed as he grunted.
"Dammit…" He let out of his lips. "I have… to focus with… this in me?" He began to pulling the tendrils into him. They slowly moved and rejoined the skin tight suit. He huffed and steadied himself.
He had to control his breathing in order to get through it, but eventually all of the tendrils returned. He gripped at the roots, following them to Halys. Halys had nature surrounding him. His body was covered with rocks, roots, leaves and flowers. He was carefully watching. Lee Seng looked to his right and noticed Zixin was clutching at his bleeding arms. Nabi stood next to him, attending to the blood while a celestial nine-tailed fox stared at him.
"Let me… go." Lee Seng croaked. He could feel the roots gripping harder while the Protocol gripped at his mind.