Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 237 - 236 - Deception

Point-of-View: Shiro Blanc

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"Hey, I've been wondering...when we attack in a couple of weeks from now, what are we gonna do for an army?" I inquired curiously, "It's not just going to be the three of us, is it?"

"Will we perhaps use the Vampires or other monsters?" Asked Hacte.

"Nah, even I can't overwrite the King's Decrees they're bound by, or at least, it's not worth wasting my Divine Magic on, I don't have much left to spare, as you already know. As for the other monsters, most are under the control of Kuro, there are a few types that aren't, but I think I'll save those for next time."

"Then we'll be using the Demons? You said that they've all possessed human bodies already right?" I remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yes, they have, not counting the ten or so that I didn't let run free, I'll unleash those ones when we attack. And no, we won't be using the Demons. I want the Demons to simply run wild and do as they please, at least for now. They're currently terrorizing Platinberg, the Goldlands and Silvland, as well as the occasional scuffle against Vampires, so I'm enjoying watching them as they are. No, I have something else in mind for the Rustlands," She replied with a gleam in her eyes.

"Okay...what is it?" I asked impatiently.

"Fine, I guess I'll tell you...I'm gonna go to Platinberg and Silvland, convince them that I'm a messenger of their Gods, also convincing them that they both actually worship the same God, and then Hacte, we'll use your Corruption Magic to give a bunch of them stronger bodies and better Mana capacities, and we'll tell them that what we're doing is a miracle of their God! Oh, and we'll tell them that the Rustlands are blasphemers against their God or something...both nations already hate the Rustlands, so they'll be totally willing to believe that!"

Okay, I'll admit it...I like that plan.

"Sounds good, but...that seems like it'd take a little bit of time to accomplish, so why haven't we already started!?" I exclaimed in exasperation.

"He is right, we only have two weeks left, we must hurry!" Agreed Hacte impatiently.

"Sheesh, you guys need to chill. What if we're done too early and then have to just wait around till the date of the attack?" She argued, though it wasn't a very convincing argument.

"...if we manage to get them to work for us early, then we attack early, why wait!? Wouldn't it be more chaotic if we attack sooner than they expect!?" I countered with a frown.

"I guess, but...I don't like lying, chaos through lying is cheap chaos. It's like, if a person wants to make someone laugh, he'd rather do so with a good joke than by, like, tickling them, you know what I mean?"

That kinda made sense, but...

"You're an idiot. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Stupid Boobs."

"Hey! Bad Shiro!"

"Boobs!"

"Bad Shiro!"

"Boobs!"

"Bad Sh-!"

"Shut up, or this'll never end!" I snapped in irritation.

"You started it!"

"Whatever. Can we start manipulating the people of Platinberg and Silvland already? Oh, what do you plan to do about the Vampires?"

"Hm? Ohh, right, the Vampires in Platinberg are supposed to keep the people there from leaving or attacking other nations, I forgot about that. But there's only a few Vampires left, it'd be such a waste to kill them...," She remarked with a sigh.

"Yeah, well, I plan to get myself some new Crosses, so I'll be targeting the remaining Evil Numbers and Vampire Knights," I informed her.

"Do you have to? Vampires are probably the monster type that I'm most proud of creating, so to kill off the remaining strongest of them is kind of a sad notion to me."

"Yeah, I couldn't care less about your cheap sentimentality. If I come across a strong Vampire, I'm taking their life force for myself."

"Fine, I guess, I did say you could do as you please so long as it doesn't ruin my chaos."

"We should start implementing this plan soon, otherwise, we will not be ready to attack by the 1st of March," Pointed out Hacte.

"Oh, don't worry, we still have plenty of time...but you two are clearly getting restless, so fine, we'll start today. Silvland should be easier to manipulate, so we'll go with them first," She relented, standing up.

Finally...waiting for her to do things at her own pace was a bad idea, she needed to be pushed a bit every so often...how annoying. But now, things should finally start to move...

...

...

"You look ridiculous, Boobs."

"Rude! All I did was use a transformation spell to change my wings to white and to make my halo golden instead of black, to look more convincing...this closely matches the description of the archangels of Silvland's God. Seriously though, their religion is totally bogus, the God they worship simply doesn't exist...same goes for Platinberg's religion, as a matter of fact. Time to make use of their sham faith for ourselves," She remarked with a grin, "So, I'll pretend to be the Head Archangel of their religion, sent down by God to give his followers salvation, and you two will be, uh...Lesser Angels or whatever, I guess. Basically, my underlings."

She'd also used a transformation spell on us, to hide our Demonic features and make us seem more...angelic.

"Don't their angels have names or whatever?" I inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Names? No, not that I know of...in fact, I don't even know if there is a 'Head Archangel', their religion simply mentions vaguely that their God has Angels and Archangels serving him, it doesn't mention how many there are or whether there's a hierarchy among them or not...Platinberg's religion is the same in that regard, though there are a lot of conflicting differences between the two religions...oh, well, no matter, I'll just tell them that they're both wrong, but it's the thought that counts, or something like that...'ignorance is not a sin', that sounds like something they'd eat up, right?"

"I...guess so?" I replied uncertainly.

"Exactly! It's not a plan that will work for sure, that's the best part!"

Of course...

"Seriously though, I gotta say...that outfit is ridiculous."

She was wearing a gaudy, flowing white dress that went down to her ankles...it barely showed off any skin, but I guess that was the point...this was supposed to help make her look more 'holy'. What was more annoying, was that she had also made Hacte and I wear matching outfits...basically just plain white robes over plain white shirts and trousers.

"Shut up, it'll work! Come on, let's make a grand entrance, shall we? And don't forget, you guys need to really suck up to me, got it? Hacte, remember how you used to act around Valaque? Be like that, but like, ten times more kissass-y. Shiro, follow his lead."

"I suppose that I do not have much of a choice," Remarked Hacte with a sigh.

Huh, I thought he'd get offended by that.

"No promises, but I'll try," I shrugged in reply, before adding, "Hey, I've been wondering for a while now...don't you have a title? I mean, you're a semi-divine being who's been around for literally hundreds of years. You're going to pretend to be a fancy Archangel or whatever, so I couldn't help thinking about it...don't you have a title?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean by title..."

"Like, for example 'King of Silvland' or 'Vampire King', or even how we decided to call ourselves as a group 'Chaos'."

"Ohh...no, I don't have anything like that."

"Seriously? I thought you'd have given yourself a title like, I don't know, Chaotic Goddess-...or wait, since you're only a semi-divine being, maybe something like Demigod of Chaos, or-."

"Demigod of Chaos...oh, wow, I love that! It's decided, from now on, I'm Belia Lasmodeus, the Demigod of Chaos!" She exclaimed with an excited glint in her eyes.

Decided just like that, huh?

"Oh, but called me Head Archangel Belia while we're here, 'kay?" She instructed with a grin.

With that, we began...by teleporting up into the sky, and slowly floating down towards the castle, while casting a spell to make it look like we were shining. She sure knows how to make an entrance...a lot of people were peeking out of buildings curiously. That said, I could also see a handful of Demons and Vampires skulking about...though the Demons seem to be sneaking away.

"What do we do if a Demon recognizes you and approaches us?" Inquired Hacte warily.

"Don't worry, they're in on it, I informed them all about this before I let them run free, and to simply stay out of my way when it happens. They'll listen to me since they're grateful that I created them, and freed them too. Though, of course, they have no idea that I'm the one who created the Forbidden Zone spell and sealed them in the first place, hehe. Oh, and I won't be having any Demons possess anyone, they won't believe that I'm a messenger of God if I work with monsters, after all."

"Wait, back up a sec, let me get this straight...you told the Demons about your plan before you told us?" I asked with a glare.

"Oh...I guess I did. Um...my bad?" She shrugged sheepishly in reply.

"That's literally one of the worst ways that you could apologize."

"Let's discuss that later, we're almost at the castle...looks like some of the guards have come out to greet us, act all high and mighty without coming off as arrogant, that's the impression we're going for, got it?" She whispered, before putting on a straight face.

...what? You know what, whatever, I'm not going to say anything, I'm just going to follow her lead and see where this goes.

"Wh-who are you?" Inquired one of the guards cautiously, as we reached the ground.

"Fear not, dear faithful believer...God has sent me down from the heavens, the countless prayers of the people have reached him," Belia declared in a gentle yet serious tone, "I am the Head Archangel, God bestowed me the name, Belia."

"H-head Archangel? M-my apologizes for my rudeness, my lady, I-I did not know-!" Stuttered one of the guards, a look of awe in his eyes.

Jesus fucking Christ, he's not doubting her at all...

"Do not fret...for God himself has declared the following...ignorance is not a sin. Now, may I ask that you take me to the ruler of this holy nation?" She requested in that same elegant tone...huh, she's a better actress that I'd have guessed.

I feel like I'm going to be sick...and no, my distaste for religion has nothing to do with the fact that Kuro hates religion with a passion, I have my own reasons...a divine being brought me into existence for a ridiculous reason, after all. Oh, and as for Belia, she was created by not-God, so she's technically a semi-divine being, so she gets a pass.

Anyway, her cheesy act worked perfectly, the guards were quick to take us inside the castle, one of them going on ahead to alert the king. There were a lot of strong defensive barriers in place in the castle...this must be how those in the castle stayed safe from the Vampires and Demons. What cowards...and not to mention foolish, their 'God' 'responds' to their 'prayers' after all this time, if anything they should be pissed that he took this long.

We soon reached the throne room, where the king was...Aguil Silvland. From what I'd seen of him in Kuro's memories, he was a total cunt. I guess I'll play nice and just watch the proceedings for now though. Man, how pathetic, the look on his face...he looked all nervous and awestruck. Seriously, no skepticism or anything? Wow, is this what religion does to people? Now, then...let's see how this goes, shall we?

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