I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

While Swanhaden and Shuraina were hiding together in the dresser, Yulinelle, the Blanche duke, stood up from his seat to figure out where the sound was coming from. He stood up for a brief moment before he decided he was too lazy to figure it out, so he sat back down.

'It's probably just a mosquito.'

He could feel magic and an activated magic circle from within that dresser, but he decided not to focus too much on it.

"I wonder where Shuraina and the young lord have gone? I told them to come to the reception room, but they're not here. I'm worried. Do you think they're playing outside somewhere?"

Yulinelle sighed deeply at the baron's words and stood up from his seat.

'Why must you make me suffer like this?'

Yulinelle could guess where the two were right now. Yulinelle, who was, truly, needlessly kind, internally cursed the baron for being curious about their children's whereabouts but decided to find them for him. Yulinelle carelessly sauntered around the room before standing in front of the loud dresser. Then, he slowly moved his hand over to the dresser and yanked it open.

"Why did you suddenly open the dresser? Are you looking for something?"

"…..That's not it."

The inside of the dresser was completely empty. Yulinelle awkwardly took his hand off of the handle and scratched his neck before quietly closing the dresser again.

The training hall was completely empty. When the wind blew, dust clouds billowed into the air and made the space look even more abandoned than it was. The West family's training hall was smaller than others, so it was well-kept. The ground didn't even have a single stray leaf.

Whirr. Whirr.

A complicated white magic circle drew itself above the training hall grounds. It emitted light in bursts before letting out a strange noise. Soon, a foot popped out of the circle. Two people fell from the circle.

As soon as Swanhaden fell out of the circle, he realized that they were falling mid-air and dragged Shuraina into his arms. Meanwhile, Shuraina used the last magic stone in her pocket and used a levitating spell on Swanhaden. To make sure he could land softly, that is.

Shuraina could have pushed Swanhaden away, but she patiently let herself be hugged by him and tilted his landing so that his feet would touch the ground first.

"That was a close one."

"……"

Shuraina removed her hand from her pocket and took out the crackling device in her pocket. She couldn't help but sigh as she recounted what had just happened. Her heart was still beating frantically in her chest. She had almost been caught doing something embarrassing. She was proud of herself and didn't have an ounce of shame when it came to herself, but she felt a weird need to look good in front of the Blanche duke. Especially because he was Swanhaden's father.

Swanhaden had been too busy staring at Shuraina, but had gotten them out as soon as he saw her uncomfortable expression before the duke caught them.

"……"

"……"

And just like that, the two of them just stared at each other, standing in the middle of the training hall. Unlike what he had been worried about, Swanhaden was staring into Shuraina's eyes without much issue. Actually, he was staring at her so intently that others might've thought that he had a problem with her. Unlike his initial worry of not being able to look her in the eye, he felt like he couldn't take his eyes off of hers.

Maybe it was because it had been a long time since they had seen each other, but Shuraina had grown more beautiful since they had last met. Her eyes were sunken in, as if she hadn't slept in days. Her hair was a tangled mess from the wind. The small smile she had on her lips as she looked at him was making his heart hurt. He had been having Shuraina withdrawals while he cleaned up his family, so the effect she had on him was multiplied. He was excited and touched to see her again. It was an especially strange feeling to see her again outside of the academy, where they had met as children.

Shuraina had liked being looked at by Swanhaden in the beginning, but his persistent stare made her a bit overwhelmed so she covered his eyes with her hands.

"Stop looking. I'm going to wear out."

"……"

"……"

She had been joking, but Swanhaden nodded so solemnly, as if it was true, that Shuraina clamped her mouth shut right then. Don't get so serious. It's embarrassing. Even after she told him to stop looking, she felt embarrassed at the constant staring at her. Shuraina turned away first and stared at the entrance of the training hall.

"I told you not to look. Look over there."

"I'm not looking."

"Your gaze is literally pinned on me."

"……"

Maybe he wanted to have a staring contest. Shuraina turned to stare back at him and then waved a proverbial white flag. He was staring at her with such a caring look in his eyes that the air around them felt weird. It kind of felt like when they kissed that one time.

"Speaking of, can you let me down now?"

"Okay, I won't look."

She was feeling kind of embarrassed and asked him to let her down when he answered with a completely different statement. He finally looked away from her.

"Aren't you tired?"

Shuraina was feeling a bit upbeat and was gently swaying her legs back and forth, still in his arms. When she looked up at his face to ask, Swanhaden shook his head and changed her position slightly so that she could be a bit more comfortable in his arms.

"Then keep holding me. It's comfortable."

Swanhaden slowly walked out of the training hall and began walking on the trail with her still in his arms. When Shuraina said that she liked being in his arms, Swan briefly stopped walking and looked at her. Swanhaden's lips twitched as his brows furrowed. I can carry you forever. Swanhaden swallowed the words that almost escaped his throat.

His heart wasn't feeling itchy now–it hurt. It felt like his heart was being stabbed with tiny little needles. Swanhaden was miserable, but he also felt so happy that he thought he was going to go insane. It was always like this, but today was especially hard. His hands were shaking slightly as he held Shuraina, so he used white magic to fix any of his physical issues so that she wouldn't be uncomfortable and ask to be let down.

"But what brings you here?"

Shuraina tugged at his jacket as she told him to walk towards the more abandoned path. Swanhaden wordlessly turned to follow Shuraina's directions. He raised one hand to touch Shuraina's curly hair.

"Are you interested in receiving a request from me?"

"What?"

Her mood soared down. Shuraina had been a bit excited because of what Karim had said earlier. But as soon as she heard the word 'request', her mood had plummeted downwards. Before she had realized why her own mood had gone down, Swanhaden continued to speak.

"It's regarding the Blanche family's magic. I'm trying to research and end the cycle, but I need your help."

That was what he was saying, but to be honest, Swanhaden was more interested in creating an excuse to see Shuraina more than ending the cycle.

As soon as Swanhaden had graduated from the academy, he had begun fixing the issues of his household. He looked to see what the work of the duke's wife encompassed, and also looked to see if it was possible to have two dukes at once. If he saw any kind of ritual or obstacle in Shuraina's life, he either fixed it or removed it entirely.

She wanted to become a knight. If the title she received after marriage was going to prevent her from getting any kind of promotion, he was going to just end his family. He just wanted to marry her and live together, but if Shuraina had to sacrifice something for something unrelated to marriage, he could just decimate the whole thing, too.

And after Swanhaden went around and made a colossal mess of everything, Shuraina had achieved a high position within the royal civil servants, and Swanhaden was finished with everything he needed to do to greet Shuraina. Now, all Shuraina needed to do was come to him.

"You still have a bit of time left before you enter the knighthood entirely, right? Before that, I was hoping that you'd come to our estate and do some research with me. I'll pay however much you want. How does that sound?"

Shuraina looked at the slightly nervous-looking Swanhaden before she pretended to think about the offer. If she went to the Blanche estate to play, that meant she would get to see Swanhaden more. That was a total win. Moreover, she had always wanted to research the Blanche family's white magic to begin with.

'Shuraina, it's time to admit it.'

From some point in time, she had begun to really, genuinely like Swanhaden. She had a tendency to dive in head first if it was for Swanhaden, even if it didn't benefit her. The reason why she had pretended not to know him before was because she hadn't been sure. But as soon as she had listened to his internal panic earlier, that nervousness was completely gone.

Shuraina leaned her head on Swan's chest and, as if embarrassed, fiddled with her fingers.

"I don't want any money from you."

"……?"

"Instead of money, I'll take some of your magic stones. I'm running out of my stash."

Shuraina said, completely ignoring the huge stack of different magic stones sitting in her room and the literal pillar of white magic that she had received from Noirelle earlier.

"I'll just give you the stones."

Shuraina's body seemed to shake slightly. It looked as if she was sitting on a massage chair. Swan could feel her slight shaking near his arm.

"…..why don't you want it?"

Swanhaden stopped walking and stared at Shuraina directly. His pupils were shaking slightly. His expression didn't change much, but Shuraina could tell that he was extremely flustered right now.

Shuraina raised her shaking hand and touched his hair.

She stayed silent for a moment. Swanhaden's gaze was persistent as he waited to hear the reason. It felt like he was trying to tell her to hurry and tell him.

"I wonder why."

Shuraina said after hesitating for a while longer. She tilted her body slightly and wrapped her arm around Swanhaden's neck. Then, she hugged him right there. She brushed the hair on the back of his head for a moment before placing her mouth near his ears and whispering something quietly. Just loud enough that he could hear.

"Because I really like you?"

Because I like you too much. She whispered again. She moved her face away from his ear and stared right back at him, her arms still around his neck. Shuraina brushed her hand on his cheek. Her eyes curved into half-moons as she smiled at him. It was a lazy, mature expression.

"You're….not going to reject me, right?"

For some weird reason, Shuraina's eyes and her ears went red when she was embarrassed. Her scarlet eyes curved into a smile on her previously stiff face.

At that moment, Swanhaden crumbled. His legs gave way and he collapsed on the spot. Even during that moment, he raised his arms up high to make sure Shuraina didn't get hurt and then pulled her back close when he was on the ground.

Swanhaden didn't avoid her gaze and stared right back. He had imagined seeing her and had practiced looking at her in her eyes countless times, so he was now, at least, able to have a conversation with her while he looked at her. But at this particular moment, Swanhaden deeply, truly regretted practicing looking at her. He should've just continued avoiding her gaze.

His eyes grew dim. It felt like he had gotten one, two, three hard punches. His entire existence grew faint and Shuraina filled his entire soul. An unknown need began to grow from within him and pestered him. He couldn't even breathe.

Swanhaden was sure that he had misheard it. Swanhaden was pretty fast at noticing things and guessed that Shuraina had some degree of positive feelings towards him, but he had no idea that his guesses would come true. Especially not this soon.

"Don't reject me. Accept me."

When he didn't respond right away, Shuraina became anxious. She frowned and fretted. Accept me. Accept me, I said. Accept it. Give me an answer. Accept it. Acceeeeept it.

"……."

Swanhaden couldn't speak. He stared as Shuraina continued to talk in his arms as his gaze shifted from her eyes to her pouting lips that looked like they were the beak of a baby bird.

"……."

Swan unconsciously gulped as he frowned. Shuraina's emotions were so evident in her eyes and her expression that he didn't want to do something stupid like looking away and missing what was happening in front of him.

"In all my life….."

Shuraina was so, so lovable that he felt goosebumps appear from his fingers to his toes. He couldn't help but clench his hands into fists.

His mind wandered to when Shuraina was a child. She had been a small but lively child. She looked mean and cold, but she was also caring. For his childhood friend, complete with short orange hair and scarlet eyes, to whisper her love for him with blushing ears and cheeks and looking so lovely.

Then, his mind began to replay all of the struggles he had faced to get to this point. He had wanted this person for so long–he was as careful and desperate as he had waited. Swanhaden had finally heard the words that he had wanted to hear from the person he had wanted to hear it from. He couldn't believe what was happening to him right now.

When he was a child, he thought that he could just live with Shuraina forever. But as he grew older, he became anxious at the fact that, no matter how much he wanted Shuraina, that their relationship could just fade away completely if she didn't choose him. He imagined kidnapping her and keeping her in his room time and again. He wanted to monopolize her after making her look at him and him alone.

But he couldn't give up on her loyalty and friendship just for his own happiness. He also knew that such obsessive behaviors would only make her resent him. So even after his return from the battlefields, he had continued to watch her carefully with that seed of fear in mind. He had been shaking his legs just to even come here, but. Hold on, what?

She told him that she accepted him. It was a miracle–the scene of a child's dream coming true. Swan's nervous hope became a definite, absolute hope. Chills seemed to run from somewhere deep in his heart. His entire body shook.

It was a mistake. He shouldn't have looked her in the eye like this.

Swan unconsciously touched his own lips. It was a side effect from not avoiding her gaze. This had always been the case. It always felt like he was committing some kind of crime when he stared at Shuraina directly. He hadn't been avoiding Shuraina's gaze all this time just because he was embarrassed. There was a dark, twisted reason, rooted from deep within, for it. It was a kind of urge that he had never felt before.

Swanhaden impulsively stretched his hand towards her neck and gently supported it. Then, he held her chin and made her look up at his face directly. Swanhaden was in a daze.

'It's dangerous.'

Warning bells rang in his head. He wanted to swallow her whole. Dangerous thoughts began to fill his head. His gaze grew hazy and his pupils began to dilate.

He wanted to accept this person, this lovable person in front of him, right as they were. He wanted to kiss her until they couldn't discern reality from fiction, drenched in sweat and tears. If he was his usual self, he would've run. He would've told himself that he was too overwhelmed. That he was too scared that he'd treat her delicate, glass-like being too roughly.

But now, it was different. She had accepted him. Swanhaden looked down at Shuraina's lips. Their lips had touched, once. When he recounted his memories, he remembered it being soft like silk and sweet like honey.

Swanhaden, who had completely let go of his sanity, didn't hesitate to put his lips on hers.

T/N: THE SHEER AMOUNT OF BREAKS I NEEDED FOR THIS CHAPTER…..i screamed so many times. i'm. i'm…..i'll be recovering now……