Imperfect Desires

227 Cringy Punchlines

As Dylan started eating, he recalled a certain event and chuckled on his own making Xiu glance at him curiously. "You know, if you really wanted to apologize, you could have just gotten me the chocolate cupcakes."

"I'll do it now," said Xiu enthusiastically as she was about to get up, he stopped her. "What? Didn't you just ask for the cupcakes?"

"I did. But I don't want the cupcakes from here," said Dylan as he took a sip of his coffee and scrunched up his nose because of the bitter taste.

"Then?" Xiu's brows quirked up and soon her eyes went round as she was reminded of her first day with Dylan in the office and almost screamed, "Don't you dare think that I'll run around the city looking for the cupcakes that could suit your taste again. Last time, it was torturous enough!"

Dylan laughed without holding back as he said, "Actually, the cupcakes I wanted at that time were closer to you than you could even imagine."

"Huh? How?"

"Because I wanted the cupcakes you baked," told Dylan with a shrug of his shoulder nonchalantly making Xiu's jaw drop to the table. "At that time I didn't know that the cupcakes were yours. I only found out when I learned you're Darren's girlfriend."

"How did you taste my cupcakes?" asked Xiu.

"You gave some to Darren and I snatched one from him. But I couldn't get the damn taste out of my mind," Dylan had a small smile playing at the corner of his lips as he continued, "You know, even though my mom is a good cook now. She is still very bad at baking. Desserts are her nemesis. But my sister is the complete opposite of mom. Sister Mei is only good at baking, she's really bad at cooking. Before I tasted your cupcakes, my sister's desserts were my favorite but it changed. And it's all your fault!"

Xiu listened to him attentively but her mind was wandering off to something else. "You're telling me that I ran around the whole city for something I could get from my own home?" Dylan nodded his head feeling sympathetic. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Why didn't you say so?!"

"Are you even listening? Pay attention to me sometimes. I just said that I didn't know about you back then," replied Dylan as he looked at her carefully and asked, "Are you okay? Was it that bad for you on that day? I honestly wasn't teasing you or bullying you back then. I desperately wanted to find that taste again."

Xiu waved her hand offhandedly saying, "Nah! I'll just take it as one of my blond moments."

Dylan's brows quirked up in surprise as he asked, "Blond moments? What is that?"

Xiu gave him a look as if she was looking at the dumbest person on Earth as she said, "That's how I describe myself. 'I'm a brilliantly pretty brunette who has a fair share of blond moments in life.'"

"That sounded like a bio for dating sites," said Dylan making Xiu hit his hand.

Xiu flipped her hair and smiled at him conceitedly saying, "Bro, I never had to go on dating sites. I'm not that desperate in life." She took a pause before adding, "But you're right, it sounded like a pretty good description for dating sites. What would you choose if you ever made an account? Or you have an account already..."

Her suggestive tone made Dylan roll his eyes at her saying, "Sis, you really need to stop undermining me like that." When Xiu didn't show any interest in changing, he went on with a sigh, "But I do have a witty punchline I read somewhere."

"Oh, what is it?"

"I'm like Oxygen, you can be my Potassium and everything will be OK." Dylan laughed at his own joke but Xiu's lips only twitched in annoyance. He shook his head saying, "How dumb are you? Can't you get it? Oxygen's 'O' and Potassium's 'K', wouldn't it be 'OK'?"

"I think you're the dumb one here, I understand the chemistry. You don't have to remind me of the damn periodic table all over again. I just didn't find it funny at all." Dylan clicked his tongue at her for being boring while she added, "I have a better one. Oxygen can go on a date with Magnesium, it'd make people go OMg!"

Dylan closed his eyes before chuckling at her saying, "Okay, let's face it, we both have the cringy-iest punchlines."

"I agree!" They did a handshake for agreeing with each other in silence.

As they were about to leave the bakery, Dylan's cellphone rang and with a beautiful smile on his face, he picked up the call. "Hello, my dearest Weiwei! What's up?"

"I'd say my blood pressure is up because of you but you don't certainly care," came the reply making Dylan shake his head.

"Ma, what did I do now?" said Dylan and that's when Xiu understood that the call was from his mother. But the way he talked really surprised her. His eyes were shining brightly with love even when she could hear that the other person was certainly nagging him for something. After a moment of silence, she heard him saying, "Ma, I have eaten. I promise I'm not lying. Your favorite son's girlfriend dragged me to the bakery today. I ate too many sweets. So, can you cook me something spicy for dinner?"

"Are you with Regan's girlfriend?" Dylan laughed at how his mother's whole attitude changed instantly. As he hummed in reply, Zhao Wei said, "Take care of her since Darren's not there. Be nice to her. Mom will cook whatever you want."

"You care about everyone except for me," said Dylan sulking in his sadness.

"Stop being dramatic, it's not cute anymore," came his mother's reply before she hung up the call.

Dylan laughed as she hung up and noticed the way Xiu had been looking at him. "Don't stare like that, you might fall in love with me."

"Khhh!" A weird sound came from Xiu's throat and she said, "Don't be delusional. I said it already, you're not my type. Not even close to it."Please go to