Book One Chapter Fifty Six: Team Pet Problem
Book One Chapter Fifty Six: Team Pet Problem
It turned out backtracking meant walking back the way they had come. There was a small stone staircase next to the Deep One that led them back up to near where they had been attacked by the giant octopus. Now that they had the time to look around rather than being distracted by the fact that a giant tentacled monster was using the Saviour of All as a particularly stabby toy rattle, it was easy enough to spot the lever needed to let them into the next area.
Looking down the now-drained corridor that had swept them into Otto the Otters home, Qube found herself pondering the strange talking beast.
Chosen One, she said eventually, as they entered another room and spotted a giant sea urchin.
What? the Chosen One threw a hunk of seaweed hed torn off the ceiling at the creature before them. The sea urchin snapped it out of the air, then waved menacingly at the party.
Why did Otto the Otter want so many clams before giving us a prize?
Eh, thats probably just what it requires before joining us watch it, the Hero sidestepped the reach of the massive grabbers and drew his Sacred Sword, dashing towards the trunk of it. The other party members joined in on the chopping fest, until the thing exploded into chunks of purple goo that quickly faded away.
Join us? Wait, you mean that little otter wants to come along on our mission? Qube was mildly horrified.
Yeah, its the mascot character. Thats kinda their thing. Sometimes you start with them, sometimes you gotta give them something in this case clams. They show up, look cute, spit out some catch phrases, and make the big bucks on merch. The Chosen One picked up some vials of purple goo and tossed them at Qube. Think fast!
Chosen One! Dont throw things at me without more warning! Qube exclaimed, as Sexy Screamy Spider Lady neatly snatched the bottles out of the air before they could hit the Healer. The Hunter handed them over to Qube.
Oh, youd prefer me to drink them? the Chosen One said teasingly, starting to unstopper a blue one hed just picked up.
Chosen One, no! Qube yelped.
Just doing what you wanted! the Chosen One swigged from the bottle, then gagged. Okay, nope, dunno what that was; think it was inside bits from the monster. Nope. Nope-nope-nope. He crouched and wrapped his arms around his stomach, like he was trying not to be sick. How could you let me do this? he innocently asked Qube, his eyes wide as he looked up at her.
What I I specifically said not to go putting random things in your mouth but to let me [Identify] them! Qube protested indignantly.
I think I would remember that! the Chosen One said, causing Qube to nearly squeak in outrage. His innocent expression cracked as he started to laugh. Okay, okay, you win, he said, still laughing. No throwing things without warning.
At least thirty seconds warning! Qube said, pointing a finger at him. Shouting think fast and then immediately throwing or pushing is not enough warning!
Aw man, I cant push either? But youre invisible! Its so handy! the Chosen One pouted.
Thirty seconds. Minimum. Qube gave him a stern look. And I have to be able to hear it, too! she added, when he didnt look suitably chastened. No whispering it! She started giggling at how ludicrously his face fell at her addendum.
No pushing, no throwing, no eating, man, youre lucky healing potions are so expensive or youd be out of a job, the Chosen One slung an arm around Qubes shoulders, using the movement as an opportunity to drop all the potions he was still holding into her hands. She struggled to catch them all as he spun her around and then set off back the way theyd come to throw the lever in another direction.
On the way out, he swiped up the clams that the giant sea urchin had dropped. Looking at him, still smiling to herself a little, Qube was struck by a sudden thought.
Wait a minute. What do you mean it requires clams before itll travel with us?
---
Qube was extremely indignant. Not, for once, because of the Chosen One.
I just dont think Otto really has the team spirit, she was saying to her fellow companions. The Chosen One had listened to her for a few minutes, before getting distracted trying to feed the tiny clam shells to a giant clam.
Definitely Bad Guy shrugged, causing his chest tattoos to ripple in a manner that made Qube wonder if he was trying to be cake-like. Perhaps that was the true purpose of the deep v neck of his robes? She would have to check with Sexy Screamy Spider Lady later. She glanced at the Hunter, and remembered her distress in the library.
It might be wisest not to bring the topic up.
A talking beast, while not unheard of, is nonetheless rare enough that it would be worthy of study, Definitely Bad Guy informed Qube, drawing her attention back to him. If, as our Glorious Leader says, the creature is intelligent and magical enough to be a fully-fledged party member, then there is potential knowledge to be gained.
Its also adorable, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady added, throwing an almost mechanically provocative look at Definitely Bad Guy. Thats important, too.
Of course, Definitely Bad Guy agreed, to everyones surprise. The ability to infiltrate into a group due to aesthetic pleasingness is not to be underestimated. Any scholar would do well to not lose sight of the power of good looks.
Sexy Screamy Spider Lady gave a fang-filled smile.
Trust me, few know more about what looks can get you than this girl, she smirked, sweeping her abdomen across the stone floor and tossing back her hair. Definitely Bad Guy sighed.
Must you reduce everything to some kind of innuendo? he asked, in a pained voice.
Yes, Sexy Screamy Spider Lady replied bluntly.
Why? Qube asked.
The giant arachnid paused for a second, before re-tossing back her hair.
I suppose its just who I am, she replied smoothly. After a beat, she continued in a much more natural manner; besides, if some stuffy scholar thinks he can chastise me, well then, he has it coming, doesnt he? Definitely Bad Guy scowled at Sexy Screamy Spider Lady. The arachnid frowned back, displaying the sheer effectiveness of having multiple faces in winning any staring contest.
What do you think, Sewer Bard? Qube asked him. Sewer Bard was idly strumming on his lute, and every now and then Qube could hear him hum snatches of the mermaids song.
His cuteness will make him a hit with the ladies, the Bard said absentmindedly. Some have all the luck.
But the fact that he has to be bribed into joining us! Surely that proves how unsuitable he is? It should be considered a great honour to follow the Hero wholl save the world! How do we know that it wont be just as easily bribed by the Evil Emperor or one of his minions?
No one who works for the Evil Emperor would ever need the services of an otter, Definitely Bad Guy said scornfully.
But how do you know? Qube protested. Not to mention he appears to have no magical abilities, and his combat skills would be pitiful! The ability to do a somersault in water is not a useful battle tactic!
The Chosen One pulled himself out of the water. He appeared to have killed the giant clam. Qube felt a stab of guilt shed been so busy arguing about this Otto character that shed neglected her duty as a Healer!
Look, for some folks, you gotta have a mascot character, the Chosen One said, casually jogging over to a raised drawbridge. Its annoying, but what are you gonna do? Team pets are in.
If we must have a team pet, then surely we could find someone more suitable? Qube was exasperated. That Bear Mage we met outside the Forbidden Forest is a much better example of a team pet or mascot. He was cute and powerful!
You know that wasnt a Mage, right? the Chosen One asked Qube as he jammed a lever back and forth, making the drawbridge snap up and back down level. Somehow the drawbridge covered a deep ravine, with torrents of water screaming past below. Qube tried to fit this deep crevasse into her mental map of the Water Temple, but she just couldnt seem to figure out where it fit.
Well some sort of mana user, anyway, Qube waved away his pedanticness. The point is, unless Otto can prove himself, I dont see why we should include him.
You didnt require anyone else to prove themselves, the Chosen One said, stopping his back and forth long enough to give her an amused look. Any reason for that? I have a theory or two.
None of the others required bribery to join us! Qube huffed. And if you think Im threatened by this otter, youre wrong! Im very secure in my position as your Childhood Companion!
Wasnt what I was thinking, but sure, the Chosen One raised an eyebrow at her. He turned back to the drawbridge lever. I just dont get why theres a lever here for this. Theres no puzzle or maze. Are we supposed to he devolved into muttering to himself, staring at the switch.
Maybe theres a trap on it? Qube stepped out onto the drawbridge, momentarily diverted by the prospect of a puzzle. She started eagerly looking around. Sewer Bard joined her.
Stand back, fair Healer, he said rather pompously. This is my area of expertise, after all.
Qube snorted to herself, but complied, half stepping off the drawbridge and into the corridor on the other side of the ravine. Maybe the puzzle was on this side? Sewer Bard might be able to spot traps, but she was the true puzzle master of the group!
Then she heard a clunk sound, and realised three things simultaneously.
One: the Chosen One hadnt been paying attention to her or Sewer Bard.
Two: she hadnt properly stepped off the drawbridge.
Three: he was still playing with the lever.
The world seemed to stretch her out for one painful moment, before she snapped back into her normal shape and was sent flying. Scenery flashed past, including a rather startled-looking mermaid, before she hit a stone floor with a heavy thud.
She rolled around for a little while, stifling her screams of pain by shoving the front of her robe into her mouth, before calmly picking herself up and dusting herself off.
She didnt recognise this room, but she did see that there was a lever in the middle of the room. Pointless, given she couldnt rise with the water, but hopefully the Chosen One would be along soon. There were a few waist-high blocks, and some square indentations in the floor. Strange.
Slorp, slorp, slorp.
[Lesser Shield], Qube instantly protected herself as she spun around, trying to locate the source of the strange suction sounds.
Slorp-slorp-slorp.
There! She turned just in time to see a strange creature dart from behind one block to another. She caught a glimpse of what looked like a tentacle.
Qube felt her mouth go dry. She was a Healer, not a Fighter. She hadnt even learned the most basic of curses from Definitely Bad Guy. She had no weapons. No armour. All she had to rely on was her shield, and her invisibility.
For the first time, Qube realised just how vulnerable she was without the Chosen One. Theyd been raised as a team; it had never been expected that she would be in combat alone. She was supposed to keep him fighting, or die trying.
But she was invisible. She had to remember that. She was safe, as long as it couldnt see her.
...Unless it used smell to track. Or sound. Qube tried to hold her breath.
SLORP SLORP SLORP.
The creature darted out from behind the block and dashed towards the block Qube was standing next to. It was terrifying, its top half a shark and its bottom half an octopus. It was using its octopus legs to move, its suction cups making a racket as it came right at her!
So Qube panicked, and did the one thing she knew consistently stopped any being in their tracks.
[Heal]!