Chapter 427 A Guarded Heart (2)
Su Xiaofei understood why Xi Qian wouldn't consider dating another man for now, considering how badly Xi Qian's previous relationship ended. She couldn't stop Xi Qian from seeing her ex-boyfriend, Wei Zhijuan, for she knew that the man had left an impact on Xi Qian as a person.
If Su Xiaofei was right, Li Xiran had come to love Xi Qian regardless of her past and difference in their status. She didn't want to change the course of the events too much, in fear that it would only complicate things around her. She initially thought that by knowing the events that would unfold, she would be able to take advantage of it, but fate always reminded her that she wasn't the one in charge.
"Qian, I understand that you are working hard to prove to everyone that you are self-reliant and that you could reach your dream through hard work, but sometimes, I can't help but think that you are being too hard on yourself. I haven't even seen you invite us for a drink or a night out. I've been missing you, Qian. Just because I got married, doesn't mean I can't hang out with you anymore."
Xi Qian heaved a deep breath and gave Su Xiaofei a weak smile. Of course she was aware of that. It was just hard for her to think of slowing down and resting in her free time, the memories of the past would plague her mind. At least she was able to keep herself busy with studying and preparing for the entrance exam, giving her no time to ponder about the past.
"Do you think he has ruined me for another man?" She suddenly asked, catching Su Xiaofei off guard.
"W-what?"
"I mean, do you think Wei Zhijuan has destroyed my faith in men? I don't understand why… why can't I truly free myself from the past when I know he's already moved on with another woman?" Xi Qian looked down at her slightly calloused hands, a reminder that she had been working hard and hadn't bothered much with her appearance in public.
Su Xiaofei scoffed at that.
"If he really loved you, he would move heaven and earth just to be with you. It's not your fault that both of you are career oriented people. He decided to pursue his passion and you let him be. I think you've been selfless and brave, Qian."
When her best friend didn't say anything in return, Su Xiaofei turned to look at her only to find Xi Qian crying. Heck, Xi Qian was the most courageous person she knew in her life and it annoyed Su Xiaofei to know that her best friend was shedding tears for a person who had chosen to part ways with her.
"Qian…" She had no idea how to console her best friend.
"I'm tired, Feifei. I truly am. But what can I do? I cannot be the woman he wanted me to be. His parents didn't approve of me, which I understand, but he keeps on trying to change me into a person I am not. Now, only half a year after our breakup, he's marrying another woman." Xi Qian said between her sobs.
"Do you regret it then? Breaking up with him and choosing to remain alone?" Su Xiaofei questioned her. This was the talk she and Xi Qian never had in her previous life. She refused to talk about her worries or mention anything about her inner struggles.
After Xi Qian's breakup with Wei Zhijuan, she worked hard and barely had time to herself. She guarded her heart so hard that she started to build walls around herself. So it had been a surprise to Su Xiaofei when she saw Li Xiran weeping incessantly at her funeral.
"You have to come to terms with yourself, Qian. There's no point dwelling in the past when you know that nothing else is left for you to hang on. I know it's easier said than done, but…"
"No, you are right, Feifei. I already know what I need to do, but hearing you say it made me aware of how foolish I've become."
"Not foolish. Just confused. You might have not loved him anymore, but there's a lingering regret that remains in your heart." Su Xiaofei corrected her. "I know you would have said the same thing to me if I was still pining over Mo Yuchen."
Xi Qian chuckled at that and dried her tears.
"Then it's a good thing that you were able to realize that you didn't need him in your life and chose to be with Lu Qingfeng. I've been wondering how you were able to overlook the fact that Lu Qingfeng had been simping for you since forever."
"Qian! How could you say that?!" Su Xiaofei exclaimed, her eyes wide as she looked at Xi Qian.
"What? I'm pretty sure that he wasn't trying to be discreet about it. He's so obvious that he couldn't even take his eyes off you. I wonder if that has changed now that the two of you are married." Xi Qian paused as she gave it a good thought.
"Nah. He'd probably remain the same. I don't peg him as a love bomber who only want to lure you deep in a relationship."
It was Su Xiaofei's turn to laugh this time.
"It looks like you know him better than me. He actually introduced me to his friends from Shenjing a week ago and I was surprised that he didn't invite them to our wedding."
"He did?" Xi Qian hummed. "And here I thought Song Yiran was just extremely clingy on him when they were in Shenjing. I guess your little husband truly was changing for the better."
"Little husband? He's not that younger or little anymore."
"Of course he isn't." Xi Qian gave her a sly smile, earning a light smack on her arm from Su Xiaofei.
Su Xiaofei was blushing hard at her best friend's implication but didn't try to correct her at all.